What's love? Is it the best combination of Lust and Compassion? Or fear of being alone in an Insta Perfect Society or mere infatuation, with time which converts into Fear of missing that person and probably you marry just not to lose each other.
I am not going to tell u about bullshit, like how the chemicals like Dopamine, Oxytocin etc etc release from your brain, and then you fall in Love.
That's just a small part of the story. It's more about the Evolution of humans, the Needs of Human and the extension of Species. Like to be honest love is not a Human thing. It's not man-made it's more sought of a mystery to Unveil. I love these lines from the movie Interstellar (Oh! I again used the word "LOVE").
"Maybe we’ve spent too long trying to figure all this out with theory.
So listen to me, when I say that love is not something we invented. It’s observable, powerful. It has to mean something.
Love is the one thing that transcends time and space."
So the question: Is "LOVE" real?
No! being with someone, marrying that person doesn't exactly define the term.
To understand it better let's travel back to the 15th Century when Philosophers started glorifying it. But that artistic love didn't come to mainstream society until the mid 20th century. Thanks to Wars, Industrial Revolutions, Family customs, and whatnot.
Those were the times of Hardwork. You didn't have had a cook back then, Washing machines, and Laws.
So Men provided security and women had more to do with household chores. At that time Love was all about support. Then came the 20th century when things were much more convenient. Upper-middle-class people could buy appliances. Countries were formed which provided security to the Women.
So from approx the 1950s to the early 2000s love was more about forming better relationships and living their Dreamlife. Btw this time Hippie culture became prevalent in the west and it was so prevalent that movies were made Glorifying that culture. (btw Hippie was is all about living a life of Animals possibly animals lived a better life than hippies). Talking about the west, loyalty, and living your life with that one person was now a far fetched thing. People cheated their partners, no one wanted to stay committed. What all they wanted was to live an illicit life. In modern terms, we can term their Ideology as Nihilism.
Nihilism is the belief that all values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated. It is often associated with extreme pessimism and a radical skepticism that condemns existence.
For today's generation love is a myth. In this fast-changing world of Left and Right swipes we subconsciously constantly seeking someone better. Like it's a race. Finding the "Perfect ONE".
We are trying to finding "love" these days as if we buying clothes in the Sale. "Acha color hain but print is not good"
"Isspe toh Daag laga hain"
"sab acha hain lekin material chub raha hain".
Not exactly even a mall, but it's finding clothes in Chor Bazar as we say in India.
Like love is not a product. One should grow in love together.
what is an ideal love for me?
For me, love is something that's beyond beauty or Infatuation or like it's more of building love together. helping each other out, support and if thoughts are similar in our Professional life she can be my Business partner. It's simple. I will never date someone who has perfect perfect things because they are literally and logically temporary. Everything you have in terms of look will be no more in the next few years but the brain. Trust me. the brain will be the only entity your partner will have till death.
This is a small analogy about Love:
We all are that pet in a petshop, Who is constantly in need of love, We aren’t born there or forcefully brought there But the apps and Media which exaggerates Love does.
In petshop, every pet is in a constant need that someone just come there and set them free, free them from the cage. And then they will be always happy!
Are u sure!? When u are as needy as Cat or Dog in a petshop the only partner you get will be either like u! Just trying to filling his/her voids Or A bossy boss who will literally treat u like a dog. But here we have a choice. Never beg! Yes, I will definitely recommend u to ask out. And if the answer is no.
Never ever bring that topic again. Be their friend know them more. Just enjoy the moment probably someone better is waiting for u outside the Shop. And u toh have the choice as to, if u want to be in that cage of Neediness or enjoy your life alone outside, roaming around the streets meeting new people.
Like, let's talk statistics man, you are going to meet around 80000 people in your life and one-tenth of them will plausibly be someone you will have feelings for. (u know that chemical release and bullshit). That's 8000, say you got a chance to talk to 100 of them and from that hundred, there's a high chance you will find your ONE. Like this was toh very naive example but let's be honest u say it chemical reaction or human psychology love is something we can't create it happens.
WHY BREAKUP/ DIVORCE?
I haven't gone through any of the above and hope I won't go through it in the future but have seen a lot of friends have gone through it. The major reason is for sure less of LOVE and more of INFATUATION in the first place.
"Infatuation or being smitten is the state of being carried away by an unreasoned passion, usually towards another person for whom one has developed strong romantic or platonic feelings."
See Love years ago was more about attraction, reproduction sort of much more on Physical level, but these are the times when the things are not the same. If we will keep on acting and believing love by just analyzing through our reptilian brain then breakups will be inevitable. Because in the present time we have phones and Social Media and trust me if you are in a relationship just on the basis of physical attraction then your relationship is destined to end in just a few months or years. It's just a matter of time till any one of you will find someone more beautiful/handsome than your present partner.
See times are different now, in olden days people were not happy with their marriage either but the family values were so profoundly abided that no one had the courage to form extra affairs or look at to someone other than his/her partner. but in the present world, it won't take more than an hour to see someone, get carried away by their fake Insta life, and might break up or get a divorce just in that dream of getting your dream partner.
Don't get it wrong, but this is the truth, the basic human brain playing shabby mind games. See let us understand this with a simple example. \
So I love the iPhone, everyone does. Right? I never had a phone before my 12th grade, so in my 12th I was like I need that phone... I was like, I will just use that phone or won't use a phone at all. Basically, I wanted the first phone of my life to be iPhone. Let's not get deep into it but I got my phone as soon as I got admission into the University (NO I DIDNT FOUGHT WITH MY PARENTS TO BUY THE PHONE). But down the line after 3-4 months passed my "LOVE" for the phone diminished. I stopped caring about where do I keep it, how I use it. It was like nothing more than a phone. But what remained was the applications or the ease that comes with using the phone, camera that 3d touch, handy screen size, and every small detail that make iPhone an iPhone. You got my point right!? It is not about the outer looks which kept me intrigued, there are better phones in the market in terms of Looks but the ease, the compatibility, and that amazing OS which makes me still like the phone. In life, if we will get obsessed with our partners' outer looks, trust me you will someday get over them and will be in a constant need to find someone else, but if you will love their thoughts, experiences, and intellect you two might never have to look back and sorrow about your past choices.
I don't know much about love this was just my thoughts and would like to know yours.
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Probably my Next topic will be the Privilege Game.
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