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Pygmalion Effect-Science of Growing

Don't listen to Motivational speakers, the truth is it hurts when someone criticizes you!



Negative comments are a part of life and without the fear of critics, most of us can't grow. Sir Ratan Tata grew TATA Motors possibly because he was made fun of at Ford Motors. Even Yuvraj Singh hit 6 sixes after he was laughed upon by a bowler. But till what amount can we take the critics on us? In some cases, it continuously itches us throughout our life. 



So, I wanted to write on this topic for the past few days but wasn't able to find a proper example to show. And then I watched a master Piece by Amir Khan "Taare Zameen Par". Ishaan Awasthi had Nikumb(Amir Khan) but we all don't have the same life story, right? And after all, it was just a movie. Remember the scene where Amir khan visits Ishaan's house and asks his father to read a thing in Chinese, his father fails and Nikumb explains how that child(Ishaan) has always felt when his parents got angry with him when he was not able to read something he never was able to understand.


What is Pygmalion Effect?

"The Pygmalion Effect is the phenomenon whereby higher expectations lead to higher performance. It can be best understood by a circle where OUR BELIEFS about another person's abilities influence OUR ACTIONS towards the other person. This action has an impact on the OTHERS´ BELIEFS about themselves. The beliefs about themselves cause the OTHERS´ ACTIONS towards us, which again reinforces OUR BELIEFS about that person. And so on and on and on… "

We are born with only two innate fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud sounds.
A 1960 study evaluated depth perception among 6- to14-month-old infants, as well as young animals. Researchers placed the subjects on a platform that had plexiglass just beyond its edge to see how many of the subjects would actually step over the "visual cliff." Most of the subjects -- both children and animals -- didn't go "over" and step out onto the plexiglass. The fear of falling is an instinct necessary for the survival of many species.
When you hear loud sounds, you most likely will react with a fight or flight type response. It's called "your acoustic startle reflex," said Seth Norrholm, a translational neuroscientist at Emory University. Norrholm explained that if a sound is loud enough "you're going to duck down your head. Loud noises typically mean startling. That circuitry is innate." It's a response we have, that signals something dangerous may be around the corner.


So where do the other fears come from?

Of course, it's non-other than our Parents(Majorly) and Society. You fear Reptiles or Ghosts or Love? Your "Ideal" self wouldn't.

Talking about other stuff like Depression, Anxiety, or your fear of talking to the opposite gender can be curable. Yes! you heard that right... Happy? Most of us fear, cause someone in past told us we can't do that stuff, the reason: they tried and failed. It has nothing to you personally. If someone is not happy being friends with you it is plausibly their problem than yours.

The other fear as I address are "BIASED FEARS"

Biased fears are generally related to our surroundings like where we lived or grew up as a child. Like if  I am born near a water body like a sea or river I probably won't fear big water bodies but some people fear getting into an unknown water body because they have never seen them. Yes! the fear from water bodies exists and it is called Thalassophobia. Similarly, if you are born in a highly conservative family and or you haven't studied in a Co-ed you might have more problems talking to the opposite gender than someone who studied in a coed. You might fear darkness cause in your past, you were told about a Boggy Monster staying in the dark. The result is you fear Darkness.


NOT SO FUN FACT: "In the Solomon Islands of the pacific the islanders practice a special form of curse magic. If a tree needs to be cut down and it is too big to be chopped down, it is brought down by the combined efforts of the Islanders cursing negatively and yelling at the tree. This negative energy somehow damages the tree’s life energy the result being after about 30 days of getting cursed the tree dies off and falls to the ground!"

 STORYTIME 

There were two kids Hum and Tum both went to coaching classes. Given that Tum was slightly smarter than Hum. The coach being the uncle of Hum always praised Hum more. Tum even after scoring more goals than Hum was looked down upon. Since Hum and Tum were not as smart as us. Hum started thinking he was the best player and Tum started looking down upon himself. 5 years later what do you think happened?

Wanna know??

Tum stopped playing and Hum started winning all tournaments. Now here game played by them is not important, the important stuff is though Tum had better chances of continuing to play the game, but since he started doubting himself, his game deteriorated, and later stopped playing. Whereas Hum having the least chance to continue the game, his game got better day by day, and later he chose it as a profession.

Apart from the funny name, This story had a lot of things to look upon. You know in our life too, we meet friends, relatives or Teachers who act as the coach and don't spare a moment to belittle us. My honest advice is to get out of it ASAP a.k.a As Soon As Possible.


Now the solution Part

The good news is not everyone is bad and stop thinking about the past bad experiences. Cause what you think will return more and more you think about the things which disturb you. 
In a bad relationship? Leave it! It's better than Divorce.
In a bad Friendship?  Leave it! Chilling alone is better than chilling with someone who drains your energy.
Toxic Parents? You have two ears btw use them Wisely.

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